How to Strengthen Your Family

It was at church when I first heard about Family Councils, and I wasn’t sure how this would work or benefit my family. Family dynamics can be complex, and are ever changing with children getting older, having teens, being empty nesters, and grandparents. In whatever phase of life, one way to strengthen your family is through Family Councils.

This is where each person has a voice, is thoughtfully listened to, it's where communication starts and flourishes.

M. Russell Ballard, says “A family council is a meeting on any day of the week. It can be with just you and a parent or with your whole family. It’s a time when you can …

· Turn off electronics and look at and listen to each other.

· Tell your parents about your worries or fears.

· Offer to help a sibling during a hard time.

· Make goals and write them down.

Combined with prayer, a family council can invite the Savior’s presence in your home. It can help your family be happy.”

You don’t have to be religious to have a family council. Family councils will bring a feeling of inclusiveness, allow for everyone to be a part of decision making, and solutions. Family councils are not intended to override parental authority, but to allow family members to hear and listen to each other. Each of us is unique, and has different ideas we can all learn from. This is not a time to allow contention and bickering. Family council is a time to exchange feelings and to allow the “doors of communication to swing open.” (Marvin J. Ashton)

Communicating means more than just resolving differences or deciding on family rules. It also means expressing love and appreciation to one another. And family councils can provide the right atmosphere to do just that. “If you call your children together only in times of stress, or only to discipline, and never to recognize their achievements or to compliment them and show your love to them, then they will learn to dread family councils.” (When Thou Art Converted, Strengthen Thy Brethren, Melchizedek Priesthood study guide, 1974, p. 168)

While individual goals are essential, Family Councils assist each family member in creating group goals, and developing commitment in a safe, respectful, understanding, loving environment.

My husband and I tried it out first. We set a time, and each wrote down a few things on an agenda to share so we could discuss what was on our minds. We started with a prayer, and then shared one thing we appreciated about the other. This exercise set the tone for our conversation on budgeting, and let me tell you, we needed a loving environment to chat about that. I loved hearing words of affirmation, it softened my heart, and improved my listening skills. We talked about our items on the agenda, and allowed for other thoughts that came to our mind. It was a deliberate meeting to share thoughts, show our time as a couple mattered, and keep us in harmony in the direction we needed to go.

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your family this is a great place to start. Family Councils create openness, trust, connection and love.