"What We Bring With Us"

"What We Bring With Us"

 (Chapter 2 Till Debt Do Us Part – Bernard Poduska)

This chapter reminded me of how naive two people are when they get married. This is probably a good thing, so they are able to learn, and grow together.

“It does not take us long to realize that we do not enter marriage empty handed; we carry a lot of “baggage” with us. For instance, we bring our levels of self esteem, our willingness to adapt change, our attitudes toward life, and our expectations and values.” What We Bring With Us (Chapter 2 Till Debt Do Us Part – Bernard Poduska pg. 25)

This quote captures the transition from single life to married life. The changes and realizations that occur present an opportunity to compromise. Things like how we view, and spend money, our beliefs on how to discipline or even how to load a dishwasher are brought to the forefront. Each of us hopes to marry the perfect person forgetting we are not perfect either.

“Unfortunately, many newlyweds tend to bring to their marriages a fairy-tale belief in living happily ever after, a belief seemingly based on the supposition: “We have been good. Therefore, only good things will happen to us. This belief seems to blind them to the fact that their relationship will undergo radical and usually unexpected changes.” What We Bring With Us (Chapter 2 Till Debt Do Us Part – Bernard Poduska pg. 25)

We do not tend to appreciate the transition process and the changes we go through individually or as a married couple. “But life is change and happiness is not fully appreciated in the absence of sorrow and hardship. Two people who go through life’s ups and downs together grow in ways neither may foresee.” What We Bring With Us (Chapter 2 Till Debt Do Us Part – Bernard Poduska pg. 25)

 

It is good to enter marriage with eyes open. Expect change to happen both in yourself and in your marriage relationship. Enter a marriage fully committed to each other and to your sacred union. Whether you are struggling with money, budgets, in-laws or merging traditions remember what is most important.

I think of my daughters who are in their young adult lives making choices that will shape their eternal destiny. No one can predict the issues that a married couple will struggle with. What I know to be true is, “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

The Family-A Proclamation To The World https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng