“ If we are to have a strong marriage, we
must put off the natural man and learn better ways.” (Goddard, Wallace H.
Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, 2007.)
I have often wondered how to build a strong
marriage if you did not have an example to follow. Many of us experienced
childhood without the ideal example of two parents working together in harmony,
and building upon an eternal marriage
The Lord gives us patterns to follow to
become a loving spouse and parent. Goddard, the author of Drawing Heaven Into
Your Marriage, suggests some behaviors we learned as a child may influence our
marriage. Some of these behaviors are:
·
Selfishness
·
Defensiveness
·
Faultfinding
·
Sarcasm
·
Intimidation
·
Arguing persuasively
·
Pride
No one would like to admit they behave in
this manner, and not everyone learns these behaviors in the home. These
behaviors are part of the “natural man”.
One of my favorite scriptures is Mosiah
3:19,
“For the natural man
is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and
ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the
natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and
becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing
to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a
child doth submit to his father.”
I never thought to replace the word
“man” with “spouse” or my own name for that matter. This scripture teaches us how to become the best husband
or wife we can be, and it also reminds our companions are not perfect either.
This is important to remember, so we may work together, and become new
creatures in Christ. This will allow the Holy Ghost to influence our hearts,
and through the Atonement we will be transformed to become like Christ.
“The Gospel of Jesus Christ-that great
plan of happiness-provides the solutions for our humanness. Having suffered the
bitter fruits of badness, it invites us to prize the good fruits of
gospel-anchored relationships (See Moses 6:55).” (Goddard,
Wallace H. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, 2007. Pg. 5)
I have experienced happiness in marriage,
and it is the gospel of Jesus Christ that makes this possible. I have a
wonderful husband. We work together as a team. He serves the Lord and in our
home with a kind, patient spirit. We love each other and still everything that
is good about our relationship would still not be enough to keep a healthy
marriage without the gospel. I agree with Goddard when he says,
“I believe that the key to a healthy
relationship is being a healthy, saintly, God-seeking person-to be born
again-to be a new creature in Christ. When we are more godly, fewer things
bother us. And when we run into problems, we are more likely to process them in
helpful ways.” (Goddard, Wallace H. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, 2007. Pg
5.)
All the things we are asked to do daily to
put off the natural man such as; pray, read scriptures, serve, repent and keep
the commandments assures us the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Each day we
become better because we are using the Holy Ghost’s influence. This allows us
to act and react in loving ways to our spouse and family.
“We will only succeed at marriage as we use
eternal gospel principles to become more of what God has invited us to become.
Marriage is God’s graduate school for advanced training in Christian character.
Those truly succeeding at marriage are those who are applying the Gospel of
Jesus Christ in their lives.” (Goddard, Wallace H. Drawing Heaven Into Your
Marriage, 2007. Pg 8.)
Marriage is ordained of God, and God did
not expect us to succeed in marriage without help. He loves us, and knows of
each of the challenges we face. Goddard says, “…understanding doctrine softens
our hearts and leads to Christ-like behavior, which culminates in happy
marriages.” (Goddard, Wallace H. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, 2007. Pg
8.)
I know praying, reading scriptures,
repenting, serving and keeping the commandments humbles me, and my heart is
open to the spirit. The formula for me to be a good wife is to keep my
covenants, and follow what the prophets have asked us to do. Through Christ, I
can become a better companion for my husband, and this is what I want. We must
never give up, but persevere through the challenges.
Elder Whirthlin says, “perseverance means to continue in
a given course until we have reached a goal or objective, regardless of
obstacles, opposition, and other counterinfluences…the ultimate example of
perseverance is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has and will overcome
every obstacle in doing the will of our Heavenly Father.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1987/10/never-give-up?lang=eng
Marriage is hard work, and as we
persevere we will experience the blessings of marriage. Elder Scott says, “Pure
love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the
foundation of a successful marriage.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-eternal-blessings-of-marriage?lang=eng
As we follow the counsel in Mosiah
3:19, we will enrich our marriage, and become more Christlike.
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