Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude:

Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

Parenting is by far the most rewarding and greatest challenge I have ever experienced. I love being a Mom. I have wonderful daughters who love me, challenge me, teach me and make me a better person. Everyone has agency and we can choose our parenting techniques and work to improve our parenting styles no matter how old our children are. We will be parents forever!

“Adam and Eve discovered the importance of agency as they dealt with family members with different personalities and proclivities who chose to use their agency for good and for ill. Our wise first parents applied gospel principles in teaching their children about the commandments of God. They learned first hand about the spiritual guidance that God grants to parents as they fulfill their sacred responsibilities, encouraging their growth and happiness (Moses 5:10-12)” (Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H.Haupt, 2012, p.103Successful Marriages and Families)

“To assist parents in meeting their family responsibilities, the Lord has given commandments, guiding principles, and helpful examples in the scriptures, along with the counsel of modern-day prophets and apostles.” (Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H.Haupt, 2012, p.103Successful Marriages and Families)

I am most grateful for these resources. I think when I was a parent for the first time I thought that I was going to do a better job than my parents did. I was always going to do the right thing, say the right thing and my children will love and obey me. And then….I woke up. But seriously, the resources the Lord has given me are tools are use daily. The Holy Ghost has been my best friend through times when I just have no idea what to do. I have felt the Lord comfort me and I gain strength from knowing that I am not alone in anything. That includes parenting.

“In parenting, mothers and fathers have the challenge and opportunity to apply general principles derived from inspired sources and adapt them to their individual and family circumstances as they diligently strive to meet their children’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs (see D&C 68:25-28;75:28,83:4-5, Mosiah 4:14. Timothy 5:4)  (Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H.Haupt, 2012, p.103Successful Marriages and Families)

Children can be trying and strong willed. In a statement made by the First Presidency in 1912 we learn much about the premortal life, “All people who come to this earth and are born in mortality, had a pre-existent, spiritual personality, as the sons and daughters of the Eternal Father” notice it doesn’t say perfect personalities.

“As President James E. Faust (1990, p.34) observed, “Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another.” Whatever the nature and disposition of a given child, wise parents work to adjust, relate to and rear each child in a manner that is somewhat tempered to individual needs as parents and children learn from each other.” (Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H.Haupt, 2012, p.104 Successful Marriages and Families)

“Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness.” (Widstoe, 1978, p 208). (Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H.Haupt, 2012, p.105 Successful Marriages and Families)

“Righteous parenting emphasizes charity, gentleness, kindness, long suffering, persuasion, and appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship. (D&C 121:39-49)

“In order to promote optimal development and to rear children in love and righteousness, the following are crucial elements for each child, although specific implementations and approaches may be individualized based upon the needs and personality of the particular child:

·      Love, warmth, and support

·      Clear and reasonable expectations for competent behavior

·      Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise

·      Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits

·      Opportunities to perform competently and make choices

·      Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting guilt

·      Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes

There is so much more I could add to this whole section, but most has already been said even though briefly. One thing I have learned is you never give up on your child!

“(My) hand is stretched out still” Isaiah 5:25