Crucibles and Healing: Illness, Loss, Death, and Bereavement

Crucibles and Healing:

Illness, Loss, Death, and Bereavement

Illness, loss, death and bereavement is something that comes to each family. I have observed that challenges are an opportunity for the family to come together even if it is death. Pulling together and mourning with each other can strengthen us. I have also witnessed these challenges tear families apart. Blame and withdrawing from family are actions that invite contention and wedge distance between each other. We are to unite as families and work together no matter the circumstance.

“The Proclamation teaches that it is essential to our Eternal father’s plan that His children “obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience. The experience of being human in a flawed mortal realm brings both joy and sorrow, with many of life’s’ most difficult challenges occurring as a result of the temporal condition of our bodies.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.237 Successful Marriages and Families)

“Adversities such as illness or disability, death and bereavement, and other losses are unavoidable parts of earthly experience and may become spiritual crucibles with the potential to transform individuals and families. For some families, these life-altering experiences tear at relationships and drown family members in feelings of heartache, injustice, and bitterness. For others, these unexpected challenges serve as “emotional crucibles” (Robinson, et al, 2005) that enhance relationships among family members, renew appreciation for significant aspects of life, and inspire faith in the wisdom and grace of God.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.237-238 Successful Marriages and Families)

“Our perspective often determines how we define and respond to such situations.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.237 Successful Marriages and Families)

President Spencer W. Kimball shares these words of comfort:

“If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life could be a calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective.” (1972, p97) (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.238 Successful Marriages and Families)

The proclamation teaches that the cumulative purpose of all experiences in this life is to help us “progress toward perfection and realize our “destiny as heirs of eternal life.” Having faith in God and in His “divine plan of happiness” is the first principle of a perspective that recognizes meaning and growth as coming from life’s crucibles. (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.238 Successful Marriages and Families)

Bruce C. Hafen, a member of the Seventy wrote;

“Our understanding of the Atonement is hardly a shield against sorrow; rather, it is a rich source of strength to deal productively with the disappointments and heartbreaks that form the deliberate fabric of mortal life. The gospel helps us to heal our pain, not necessarily to prevent it.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.239 Successful Marriages and Families)

So you may be tempted to ask WHY? Why is there sorrow, pain and challenges?

The Lord taught Adam that opposition is needed in this life so that the children of God can “taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good” (Moses 6:55)

Elder Neal A. Maxwell reminds us: “There is, in the suffering of the highest order, a point that is reached-a point of aloneness-when the individual (as did the Savior on a much grander scale) must bear it…alone. Even the faithful may wonder if they can take any more or if they are in some way forsaken. Those who…stand at the foot of the cross often can do so little to help absorb the pain and the anguish. It is something we must bear ourselves in order that our triumph can be complete.” (1979, p43) (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.240 Successful Marriages and Families)

“Families must realize that different individuals may be in different places emotionally and spiritually, and nearly everyone moves back and forth among such dynamic aspects of crucible experiences.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.241 Successful Marriages and Families)

Elder Richard G. Scott explains, “It is important to understand that (the Lord’s) healing can mean being cured, or having your burdens eased, or even coming to realize that it is worth it to endure to the end patiently, for God needs brave sons and daughters who are willing to be polished when in His wisdom that is His will.” (1994,p7) (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.245 Successful Marriages and Families)

One of my favorite scriptures is Alma 7: 11-13

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

“From this scripture, we learn two important truths. First, the Atonement’s healing power is not only for overcoming the effects of sin, but also extends to the entire range of mortal suffering and adversity.” (Hafen 1989)

“Two greatest resources of healing in this life: the gospel of Jesus Christ and our families.” (W. David Robinson, Jason S. Caroll, and Elaine Sorenson Marshall, 2012, p.245 Successful Marriages and Families)