Journal Entries 2004 & 2005

Journal Entries 2009

March 2009

I was driving along Woodlands road when something large in the top of a tree caught my eye. It was a big old cat holding on for dear life a the very top of the tree. A couple people stopped and were trying to coax the cat out of the tree. I thought what a crazy cat! Why would it run all the way up there? Doesn't he know how far he ran up? Grant thought he would get down by himself but I wasn't so sure. About 20 min later, I passed by the tree again and the cat was still in the tree. No way he will get down on his own. He is scared and probably convinced himself it would be too hard. I've made quick decisions like the cat before. Maybe he was being chased or he was curious or chasing something.Whatever it was he found himself in a difficult circumstance. He went too far and now needs assistance. The fireman were called and they were able to get the cat out of the tree. We are like the cat, we need assistance when we find ourselves in difficult circumstances whether we created them ourselves or inflicted upon us. The Savior, Jesus Christ, is ready and willing to teach us and guide us to safety. We have a choice like the cat. We can hold on to the very top of the tree and be too afraid or proud to reach out for help or we can humbly be willing to ask for the Master's assistance. Use His Atonement to heal our wounds and help us out of our tree.

June 4th, 2009

Grant and I served at the Mustard Seed for the Telus Volunteer Day. We prepared a meal, took a tour of the facilities, and my job was to handout the cutlery to the patrons. I was a little nervous to be at the start of the line greeting the those so desperately in need, and homeless. After everyone went through the line, some came up again and the team leader said "no seconds". People were still hungry. There was food leftover but the reason why seconds were not offered was there was not enough for seconds for everyone. In the gospel, when we are spiritually hungry the Master feeds us through His spirit, prophets, scriptures, callings. Knowing who the Savior is...my spirit never goes hungry. I can partake of His love, forgiveness, Atonement, mercy and example as much as I want. I can have seconds, thirds, fourths...infinity. I nor anyone will hear the words "no seconds" only the words, "come unto me".

Journal Entries 2006 & 2007

Journal Entries 1994

How to Strengthen Your Family

It was at church when I first heard about Family Councils, and I wasn’t sure how this would work or benefit my family. Family dynamics can be complex, and are ever changing with children getting older, having teens, being empty nesters, and grandparents. In whatever phase of life, one way to strengthen your family is through Family Councils.

This is where each person has a voice, is thoughtfully listened to, it's where communication starts and flourishes.

M. Russell Ballard, says “A family council is a meeting on any day of the week. It can be with just you and a parent or with your whole family. It’s a time when you can …

· Turn off electronics and look at and listen to each other.

· Tell your parents about your worries or fears.

· Offer to help a sibling during a hard time.

· Make goals and write them down.

Combined with prayer, a family council can invite the Savior’s presence in your home. It can help your family be happy.”

You don’t have to be religious to have a family council. Family councils will bring a feeling of inclusiveness, allow for everyone to be a part of decision making, and solutions. Family councils are not intended to override parental authority, but to allow family members to hear and listen to each other. Each of us is unique, and has different ideas we can all learn from. This is not a time to allow contention and bickering. Family council is a time to exchange feelings and to allow the “doors of communication to swing open.” (Marvin J. Ashton)

Communicating means more than just resolving differences or deciding on family rules. It also means expressing love and appreciation to one another. And family councils can provide the right atmosphere to do just that. “If you call your children together only in times of stress, or only to discipline, and never to recognize their achievements or to compliment them and show your love to them, then they will learn to dread family councils.” (When Thou Art Converted, Strengthen Thy Brethren, Melchizedek Priesthood study guide, 1974, p. 168)

While individual goals are essential, Family Councils assist each family member in creating group goals, and developing commitment in a safe, respectful, understanding, loving environment.

My husband and I tried it out first. We set a time, and each wrote down a few things on an agenda to share so we could discuss what was on our minds. We started with a prayer, and then shared one thing we appreciated about the other. This exercise set the tone for our conversation on budgeting, and let me tell you, we needed a loving environment to chat about that. I loved hearing words of affirmation, it softened my heart, and improved my listening skills. We talked about our items on the agenda, and allowed for other thoughts that came to our mind. It was a deliberate meeting to share thoughts, show our time as a couple mattered, and keep us in harmony in the direction we needed to go.

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your family this is a great place to start. Family Councils create openness, trust, connection and love.

Your To Do List vs Your To Be List

It is so tiring trying to keep up with responsibilities, and do it while looking like you have everything in control. We say we need to be more mindful of the things that matter like Family Life, and Self-Care, but do we really mean it? I won’t say I am a master at to do list’s but often when I am overwhelmed I need to write it all down because I can no longer remember all I need to do. It is exhausting and can cause unneeded anxiety to have too much to do. Recently, I heard someone comment on a to do list vs a to be list. It caught my attention. How much effort do I put into fulfilling my responsibilities, and listening to requested needs and acting on whims. Then I asked myself have I created a To Be List? No, and why not? How can I be my best self, wife, mother, friend, co-worker and overall human if I am not setting aside some time to create a To Be List. There is lots of opportunity for me to improve, however, I don’t need to necessarily make a long list, or put pressure on myself to be perfect. To me, creating a To Be list is acknowledging my own self-worth, my family and everyone I love. Who I am reflects on others and how I interact with them. Taking time to ponder who I want to become is the start of my “Becoming”. We ask children what do you want to do or be when you grow up thinking this is decided by choosing a role like a teacher, doctor, yoga instructor, however, what if we thought about what we want to become and the characteristics we can develop? How would this change you, and your family? What do you want to Be?

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

– Leo Tolstoy

Perspective

When my mother passed away, a family member chose a picture for the program. When I looked at the picture I asked, what did my sister see in this picture? All I could see was my mother’s illness. I saw a weak mother trying to smile with the muscles she had left in her face, and her straggled hair pulled back…exhausted.

Looking at this picture now, I see beyond the frailty. I notice the garden in the background, and her love to be outside among the plants, tending and nourishing her flowers or helping others with the up keep of their garden. I notice in the later days of illness she did what she could to serve. I notice her smile, and the fact she did get up that day, and used whatever energy she had to be with family.

What changed? The picture didn’t change, my perspective changed. I pushed away some hurt, bitterness, pride, and allowed a new perspective to enter my heart. In my experience with the many dynamics of family, I see the choice in perspectives. How we see our spouse, our children, teenagers, and ourselves. How we see the family celebration of who will be there or who won’t be, or why there is no family celebration at all. We make fast judgements and some are right; however, we miss challenging ourselves to see the side of others or the truth all together. In each phase of life, our experiences shape us, and we evolve in our perspective.

My effort is continuously building a perspective of love and hope in others no matter their past choices, current ones or future ones. I have morphed into a better person from challenge, crisis, and trauma whether from my own choices or by the choices of others… (or a combo of the two). Hope, positivity, and love are lenses I choose to invite in my perspective when I see my family, friends, acquaintances, strangers and Myself.

May we invite these types of lenses into our lives to become our best selves. When I re-looked at the picture from the funeral program, it was 3 years later. Sometimes time is needed to heal our perspective. An open heart, and mind to the possibilities of greater contentment in our life is required, for our perspective to heal or perhaps just to see another perspective. When we are ready we can make the course corrections necessary to bring harmony to our souls. Reflection is needed in all types of circumstances to understand ourselves, and what contributes to how we feel.

I fondly remember the quote that has impacted me the most, and now become my favorite,

“May we ever choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.” – Thomas S. Monson

Perspective can set the tone in our life. May we be brave enough to use a kind lens to see our self, and recognize what we can do to improve and be content.