Choose Marriage

This week I learned how to strengthen my marriage by reading an article called "Divorce" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng

Elder Oaks talks about the importance of marriage, and the affects of divorce with powerful suggestions on how to strengthen your marriage. It's easy to only think of your own challenges, and neglect the needs ofyour spouse and family. Marriage takes work. 

Elder Russell M. Nelson says, "Energy is always required to provide lift over opposing forces. These same laws apply in our personal lives. Whenever an undertaking is begun, both the energy and the will to endure are essential." Endure and Be Lifted Up, April 1997  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1997/04/endure-and-be-lifted-up?lang=eng 

Although marriage is between a man and woman, marriage itself affects the quality of the family. 

Elder Oaks counsels to think of the children.

“Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims. Scholars of family life tell us that the most important cause of the current decline in the well-being of children is the current weakening of marriage, because family instability decreases parental investment in children.” (Divorce, April 2007, Elder Dallin H. Oaks)

Adults have a tendency to get self-absorbed in their own problems, and forget or neglect the needs of their children. A life, marriage or family centered on the teachings of Jesus Christ assists us to love, serve and have charity for each other. Considering others feelings before our own prideful motives makes for a happier environment in the home. Contentious feelings break communication, and leave a tense feeling in the home making it difficult to feel or be influenced by the spirit.

It takes desire, work and selflessness to change and improve your views on marriage if you have experienced divorce.  The Lord can tutor us to avoid divorce, especially if we chose to make and keep covenants.

 Elder Oaks gives straightforward counsel on what we can do to strengthen our marriages:

“Don’t treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In a marriage relationship, festering is destructive; forgiving is divine (see D&C 64:9–10). Plead for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs (as President Faust has just taught us so beautifully), to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships.” (Divorce, April 2007, Elder Dallin H. Oaks)

Remember no one is perfect. Work together to build a loving marriage. The forgiving part is key. "A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection."(Divorce, April 2007, Elder Dallin H. Oaks)
The Savior set the perfect example of “thy will be done” and this attitude should be considered when we want our own way. Tackling our pride ensures a gentle voice, invites the spirit, kindles kindness, and communication progresses.